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Programme of events:
Book into expensive hotels
Nice meals and drinks
Laughs and parties
Sightseeing and theatre.
Boring bit:
Play acting
Deliberating
Procrastinating
Drawing up utter meaningless proposals and protocols from original draft (with get out clauses) for everyone to sign.
Finale: Press conference where every attendee smiles, shakes hands and parades in front of cameras in all their finery (especially Christine Lagarde with her pretty sash) to announce yet another step forward in the climate change debate.
Result: Greenhouse gas emissions keep climbing forever upwards.
Never in the timeline of human history have so many depended on so few, never have the stakes been so high and the expectations so low.
The summit will go on in strange paradox, deciding only to be undecided, resolved only to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent.
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Agenda:
Introduce a standard draft written from a school book study on climate change in what to do (on paper) either to please the teacher or pass an exam, one you will probably have read on any government paper on the subject of climate change, it has been adopted and used as a template thousands of times. It might as well replace the page number for all the good it does (personally, I find the page number more intelligent as at least there is a logic to it!
The Draft:
“There are two main policy responses to climate change: mitigation and adaptation. Mitigation addresses the root causes, by reducing greenhouse gas emissions, while adaptation seeks to lower the risks posed by the consequences of climatic changes. Both approaches will be necessary, because even if emissions are dramatically decreased in the next decade, adaptation will still be needed to deal with the global changes that have already been set in motion”
Well, that sounds as though we are in safe hands and all is being sorted by our government of the day. But hang on a minute! Do I get a sense of déjà vu, a feeling of political spin, subconsciously being planted in my mind by repetitive meaningless phrases, jargon and claptrap?
This is typically something it could be the stuff of comic book fantasy apart from the rest of the stories in the comic being more accurate. What gibberish and utter banal nonsense!
In the first place we are never going to reduce any C02 emissions, in the second place ‘adaption’ (a green-wash word) is based on a ludicrous concept that a few pesky heat waves and a couple of nuisance heavy showers will eventually give way to May flowers if we play our cards right!
